Royal Blue

Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
Friday, February 07, 2003

I don't know whether to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones or what, but I've been craving chocolate lately in a big way.

At home, I've resolved this is a low-cal way by making hot chocolate every night. I heat up a mug of warm milk in the mircowave and then add a few heaping teaspoons of chocolate from the canister of Godiva hot coca that my mom gave me last fall when she came on one of her visits with a basket full of goodies. It's excellent!

Having hot cocoa takes care of the chocolate craving and I feel virtuous because of the milk, but I have to be careful and have the mug right before bed b/c it makes me very sleepy. Last night I was struggling to stay awake for the last 15 minutes of "ER."

I also remarked to Ed how my energy level is so markedly different from last fall when I missed the whole first half of the "ER" season because I could barely stay awake past 9:30 pm during my first trimester. Our VCR decided to stop recording for some reason (and now it complains about rewinding anything) and I wasn't able to tape it.

I don't love "ER" as much as I used to, but it's still pretty damn good and worth staying up until 11pm. And, I get hot chocolate! Life is good.

Thursday, February 06, 2003
Feeling Grateful

It's *so nice* to work with some funny, fantastic people so that when those "other" weird people I work with start to really bug me, I can blow off steam and realize "it's them, not me."

A really great guy I work with just told me he wants to "strangle" a woman who works here and I just felt so much better because this woman drives me crazy too and I try to avoid lengthy interactions with her.

There are about 5-6 coworkers here whom I call friends and four of them I would call good friends and I feel so blessed to have them helping me with my work and just with life in general. We have a great time amid the stress of workaday life.

My office mate, Robyn, goes above and beyond in the friendship department--bringing me all manner of small gifts and foodstuffs when I least expect it, babysitting for Molly and refusing to take money, being a listening ear throughout the craziness of life, etc. Boy, I really am lucky!

So, when I start to complain about my job and how unchallenged I feel sometimes, I need to remember the great things about my job, like the people I work with, the fantastic pay and benefits, the fact that my job revolves around advising faculty and giving them money for innovative projects that help them teach more effectively, and therefore I help students across campus.

Therefore I ask you, aside from a crazy boss and sometimes feeling I'm not working up to my potential, what do i have to complain about? Nothing!!

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

I don't know why, but I've had the urge to be crafty lately (I really don't think it's that pregnancy-nesting thing, either). Last weekend I threw together a Valentine's Day wreath for our door, I've been making earrings to give away as gifts, and this weekend I'm going to make my gingerbread cookies with Royal Icing that I didn't make at Christmas b/c it got too crazy.

I'll make a whole mess of heart-shaped gingerbread cookies and then make Royal Icing (the kind that hardens rather than stays 'wet' and it tastes yummy) in white, red and pink colors and go to town decorating 'em. I want to make enough to take to Molly's daycare, to my work,
to my in-laws who are babysitting Molly during V-day weekend and some for my wonderful neighbor, Linda and the girls who live next door.

That means I'll really have to start making them this weekend! Make the dough, chill it, cut out the cookies, bake them and then cool them and decorate! This is a major project in spurts over several days, but I love doing it.

I must give credit to my sister, from whom I stole this whole idea. Several years ago at Christmas she started making gingerbread cookies and doing this very fancy decorating (she's an artist, so for her it's all snap) with colored icing. Of course one year she made a whole gingerbread house and didn't need a kit like the rest of us!

Once I started making and eating gingerbread cookies, I realized I'll never go back to sugar cookies. Gingerbread tastes so much better, is better for you, and people love it.

Okay, now that I've said all this, I really have to do it. I can't wait!

Tuesday, February 04, 2003
I'm huge!!

Well, it's just about official--my third trimester starts next week and I'm getting 'huge,' or at least it seems that way to me. People tell me: "You're not huge, you're pregnant." Well, yeah, same thing these days.

I was very conscious of appreciating my second trimester during this 2nd pregnancy. Appreciating it because the horrible nausea of the 1st trimester was over and I got my energy back and I knew that in the 3rd trimester that physically, life becomes a bit more challenging. These past 3 months have been great. I"ve felt wonderful and several people have commented on that.

I know that over the next 13 weeks the baby will go through major growth spurts and I'll just get bigger and bigger until I just can't imagine carrying around any more 'front matter!' That's ok--the baby is doing what he is supposed to be doing and so all will be well, even if I won't be able to tie my shoes in a few weeks.

When I grow out of some of my maternity clothes later this spring, that will be a humbling moment. Meanwhile, I'll be content to take it easy and let people drop me off at my office door instead of having me walk (that happened twice today) and let people on the bus give up their seat for me (that almost happened today)!

I'm not huge, I can say, I'm pregnant!

Monday, February 03, 2003
We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.

-Carlos Castaneda

Boy, I really need to remember this quote amid the ups and downs of everyday life. What a crazy weekend---it was a wonderful weekend for me personally, but the national tragedy was a black cloud over an already troubled country. It's hard to 'process' so much during these difficult times, but what else is there to do? Cope as best we can. Yikes!

Then I come to work Monday morning in a good mood and my boss says something so insensitive during our staff meeting that I'm totally pissed off at her again. So, I remember that quote I got over email (above) and decide to "let it go" as best I can. I long to work for a woman or man whom I respect and admire, like I had in the past 6 years before I came here.

At the same time, I had lunch with my friend Tracy and her husband on Saturday and Tracy talked about the stress of her job (coming from a completely different place than what I'm dealing with) and her hubby is facing subtle job discrimination issues. Both so unfair, and yet that's life sometimes.

We're all coping the best we can with our national situation and our personal situations. I'm going to try to choose to be happy and find the joy in life even when I feel anger and pessimism creeping in, but at the same time, not live in denial. Thank you, Carlos Castaneda, for the great quote.


  This page is powered by Blogger, the easy way to update your web site.  

Home  |  Archives  
< ? diary of a feminist ! >