Royal Blue

Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
Friday, March 28, 2003
Goes Out Like A Lamb... I Wish

It's been a beautiful spring week. This weekend it's supposed to get chilly again, but I refuse to use the word "cold." Chilly is acceptable. Cold is not. With April arriving next week, it will really feel like spring is around the corner even on the days it feels "chilly."

With April coming, I also have a final countdown to the arrival of the baby. I'll be starting my 34th week on Monday.

This should really spur us on for the final weeks of getting ready. Next week is also Molly's "sibling class" and our "refresher" course for the labor and delivery. Reality, hello! We're about to have a new family member!

This week I had some pregnancy-related insomnia. Not too bad, just lost an hour or so of sleep each night.
It really wore me down, though, and it was a "wake up call" so to speak for the severe loss of sleep that is heading my way down the road. But, i survived it before. I'll survive it again. Not fun, though.

On a sweet note, i woke up this morning at the usual time and didn't hear a peep from Molly's room so I continued to lounge in bed for an extra 10 minutes. When I finally did get up, she was happily lying in bed playing with a Winnie the Pooh plush toy. Very sweet. I love when that happens. It's some "grace time" before the new baby blasts me out of bed several times a night!

In typical 2-year-old fashion, Molly bounces between being terribly adorable and "grown up" and totally unreasonable and demanding. No doubt it will be a relief for Ed to have a son so he has some counterbalance to the two demanding females in his life! Hee hee.

Still, with all the complaints about lack of sleep, it will be an adventure. I just need a little more time before I board the bus again to new mommy land. We really need to buy a digital camera a double stroller.....soon!

Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Follow Up

I can't remember if I posted an update on my job situation. I heard about the new job I applied for and just as I predicted, my friend Dave got the job. I'm happy for him and his family. I'm also relieved a bit since we don't have to move and I have to take on a very demanding new job with a newborn in my life. Of course, I'm disappointed since it's always nice to be the first choice, but as I posted earlier, I 've also been highly ambivalent about the whole prospect of the new job. So, now we get to stay in a city that we love and continue to take on one major life upheaval at a time!

Funny, because last time i was pregnant, I also was a finalist for a job and I didn't get the job but 6 months later found this job,which has been, in some ways, much better for me. So, the old "door opens, door closes" thing applies here.

I'm also happy to say I finally finished the freelance article I started in January! I can't believe it took me so long to carve out time to get it done, but it just did. The initial feedback I got was that it is right on target and I have only a few edits and clarifications to make. So, that's good. I'm counting on the check from this article to pay for my new breast pump!

But, I also realized how effortless writing is for me and I need to see about more writing opportunities once life stabilizes a bit
I've still got a book review due May 1, I just remembered. That's ok--those are fun!.

Weirdest I was writing this entry the phone rang and it was Dave himself, asking me if I wanted to run out and get lunch. We went out to lunch and I just got back. We talked about his new job and he said that the hiring committee told him that there were lots of other jobs that I'd be "perfect for," so that was nice to hear. Even though they chose him for this particular job, I might have something else open for me down the road. We'll see.

And, after talking to Dave, now I feel like I've had closure about the whole job thing. I told Dave, as we were parting, that if I had to lose the job to someone, I'm thrilled it was him. And it's true. He said that if I had been the one to get the job, he doesn't know if he could have been as supportive as I am being for him. That's ok. I truly am happy for him. Isn't that weird?

Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Upsetting News

I was sad and upset to hear a few days ago about a couple close to Ed and I who are now separated and may be on the road toward divorce.

It's particularly upsetting since the person in the couple who has initiated the split is someone who I thought would "know better."

When I say "know better," what I mean is that I thought this person would know that extensive marriage counseling is pretty
much a "must" before you end a decade-long marriage. If you and your partner really work hard with a marriage counselor and things still can't be saved, then I can understand calling it quits. But to just walk away without really giving counseling a shot and giving your partner a chance to hear you out and work hard, that's just unfathomable to me.

I also thought that this person would "know better" since a young chlid is involved. Apparently, this person went and fell in love with someone else and then asked her spouse for a separation.

If I started having feelings for someone besides my spouse, that would be a red flag. I would run to a marriage counselor before I would let myself fall in love with someone else. I owe it to myself, my partner and especially my kids. Besides, who wants to bring a ton of baggage into one relationship from the other one that is left in shambles behind you.

I 'm just really surprised at this person. And sad. It's a good reminder to me that marriage is hard work and that I should always make time to work on stuff that's "not working," no matter what. It's hard, but so worth it. So much so.

Maybe they can work it out. I really hope so. However, if this person is so unhappy in her life that she would leave her spouse like that, then she needs to move on. It's just so sad that the "moving on" is happening like it seems to be happening.

Monday, March 24, 2003
Pretty Intense

It's pretty intense to be in the midst of war. I don't like it one bit. It feels strange to be welcoming spring and also thinking and processing wartime happenings. Like most people, I have strong emotions about the war and it's not just about pregnancy hormones. It's reality. It's difficult.

This weekend was marked by good times, which do feels strange at times considering the state of the word. I went to a Mom2Mom sale with some other mom friends and scored some major bargains. I bought Molly's entire summer wardrobe--the cutest stuff, too--for about $40 total. All of the stuff was in great condition and cost $1 or $2 for each item. Where would I be without Mom2Mom sales, especially with kid #2 arriving?

At the sale I also bought a Dutailier glider and ottoman--which runs about $475 new--for $125. Major score. I was quite pleased to have that one checked off my "baby to do" list and it looks (and feels great) in the nursery.

Yesterday Ed took Molly to visit his parents all afternoon so I could finally finishing cranking out that freelance article I started researching in January and then i watched the Oscars with some girlfriends. Very fun. Who doesn't love Steve Martin? Without him (and Michael Moore) the whole thing would have been a snoozefest, except for brief fun moments like seeing Catherine Zeta Jones in full pregnancy mode (how refreshing).

In my blog, way back in January, I think I predicted Nicole Kidman would score an Oscar for "The Hours," did I not? That was great to see come true. Although I was sad to see Julianne Moore go away empty-handed. She put on a brave face, just like the two repressed characters she was nominated for portraying. Aww..

And, I'm dealing with some serious muscle strain and joint pain at this stage in the pregnancy. I met with my doula yesterday who had some wonderful suggestions which are helping me a lot so far. I was instructed to give up stairs and use the elevator when possible and not feel guilty at all.

So much going on these days and so many mixed emotions. It's wild.

I also


  This page is powered by Blogger, the easy way to update your web site.  

Home  |  Archives  
< ? diary of a feminist ! >