Royal Blue

Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
Friday, August 29, 2003
Survivor's Guilt

That's what my good friend and coworker Mary says I am undergoing as I leave my job. Today is my last day.

When we had lunch yesterday (I was taking her to lunch to thank her for filling in for me while I was gone on maternity leave and she'll be filling in until they hire a new grants person and then training that person), I asked her:
"Is it just me, or does everyone around the office seem morose and kind of down? And why do I feel so guilty about leaving for my new job?"

Mary said: "No, it's not just you. Things have been going downhill since January with morale so low around here and you are having survivor's guilt because you are escaping this mess."

And then we had this long conversation about the dysfunction at our office and how depressing it is and how Mary copes with it (she is so damn practical and witty, I will miss her).

So, today I leave. It's been a great two years here, despite the bad management decisions that kept me in a job that I outgrew a year ago. However, the contacts I made at this old job are what got me my next, wonderful job, so that's how life works sometimes. Funny.

I start my new job next Wednesday!

Tomorrow I head to Maine with baby in tow for the outdoor wedding of a good friend. I really wanted Ed to go with me...and Molly to go, too...but it didn't happen and it's a long sob story about why it didn't happen, so I'll spare you.

The good thing about going on this trip solo (I love traveling solo and always have) except for Baby Sean is that I'll get some fabulous one-on-one time with my baby boy. I hope for an uneventful plane ride (please God! please Sean!) and a problem-free trip...and some great bargains at the outlet capital of the U.S.--Freeport, Maine! Woo hoo!

Out of this office and off to Maine I go...

Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Rolling With It

I think I'm getting good at rolling with the punches.

Friday I had to stay home from work sick--just terrible timing considering my old boss has been so generous to me (ie benefits and such for the whole month) based on my ability to work the last two weeks of August before I depart for good.

Then, all weekend I was trying to get enough rest so I could feel better by Monday. So, the good news is that I did get enough sleep but not much else got donel
That's always hard for me to just let go and not do much, but it was necessary.

It's hard to listen to Ed dealing with both kids in other room and not want to jump up to help out.

But I'm doing much better.

Oh, and then my friend from work decided that he and his wife wanted to buy our house..yay!..but then decided to back off and wait a week because they need more time to think about it. I appreciated their honesty and would much rather they wait and make a firm decision rather than back out at a later date. So, I'm rolling with it.

Ed and I had a long talk on Saturday night about the house and decided if we didn't sell it by Sept 1 on our own, we would hire a real estate agent. It's so good to just sit down and talk stuff out and come to a decision together on big stuff. It feels great.

Oh, and then Molly decided she was done with diapers! Yippee! She's only had two accidents since Friday morning, so that's fantastic. We will have to work toward being dry at night, but I just love that she informed me that she wants underpants and that seems to be it! Wow! Great! I had decided we should postpone the potty training until after our move and stuff, but she decided she was ready. So be it.

See? I'm rolling with it...I'm not fighting all of this change and the unexpected of everyday life far, so good.


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