Royal Blue
 

 
Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
 
 
   
 
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
 
Happiness

My friend Howard just got engaged to his sweetheart! Great news! Happy news!

A few months ago, I wrote about Howard coming to visit us from Chicago and bringing his live-in girlfriend, Kasidy. Not only was is great to see Howard, it was really special to meet Kasidy who I had heard so much about. She is a sweetheart and she got my "stamp" of approval for sure.

I told Howard that he would be crazy to let this one go and he said lots of other people are telling him the same thing. In grad school, Howie had some crash and burn relationships, so I was really pleased to see him living with someone so great, such a sweetie.

So early last week, Howie and I are catching up over the phone and I make some joke about "when are you guys going to get engaged?" And Howard confesses that he has bought the ring and is planning to propose that very week in honor of their birthdays that week. Of course, I am very happy to hear that and then we talk at length about how he will propose, etc. etc.

Then he emails today to say it is official--they are engaged! Last week he got down on one knee in the snow on the bridge that they crossed on their first date. Aww. So romantic.

It's just so...so...darned fantastic to hear about a good friend taking that leap of faith with the one they love. Just last weekend, in my cleaning frenzy, I came across my wedding planning notebook.

I looked at pictures of Ed and I from our engagement party in fall, 1998. We looked so young, so carefree, so happy. My engagement was a really happy time in both of our lives and so it's sweet to "relive" it a bit when a good friend gets engaged.

Now, I should say that marriage and kids and all that doesn't mean I'm *not* still happy, but it's a totally different kind of feeling.

At night, after the kids are in bed and asleep, and I've started the dishwasher and read the paper and I'm thinking about how to spend some free time before I have to go to bed, I will stop in Molly's room to clear the books off her bed gently, to pull the blanket up to her chin and watch her sleeping for a moment or two. Then I'll go into Sean's room and peek into his crib, straighten his blanket and put his pacifier close by, and watch him sleep for a few moments. These are sweet moments.

That's a deep, satisfying happiness--to savor all that we've done to create a safe, happy home for our kidlets. Aww.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004
 
Too Much Going On

Okay, really folks, there is just too much going on right now! I wish life would just slow down a bit.

First, about our house: still no viable offers, which really depresses me. Yet another month of 2nd mortgage down the drain. We are really trying to keep the faith and trust that a buyer will come along soon and that we can close the deal before April, after which we will be totally broke. Argh! It totally sucks to be in this position. To watch large sums of money that could be a nice safety net in the bank to dwindle to nothing because of an unsold, empty house.

Work: Yikes, it is busy! I'm just keeping on top of it, but some days it's just too many projects to handle at once. But I'm managing and I refuse to let myself get stressed out over things that, in the long run, are not worth it.

Home: We had a glorious day and a half to ourselves. Ed's parents took the kids last Saturday and Sunday as a birthday gift to me. I ran about 25 errands without a kid in tow, bought a new suit with some birthday money, got my haircut, we saw a movie and I even took a nap! I was in a whirl trying to clean the whole house on Sunday when I got a migraine and had to stop, so there is some disarray right now in spots of the house. Oh, well. It was so, so nice to have some quiet time and for Ed and I to have time to ourselves.

Kids: Both kids are just getting over runny noses and one of the nannies shows up this morning with a cold! Blech! I hope they don't get sick yet again.....!

Sean is really crawling and scooting like mad. We started babyproofing this weekend.
I had forgotten how quick you have to be with a mobile baby who wants to put everything in his mouth. Everything!

Molly is really getting feisty---I had friends warn me that age 3 is worse than the "terrible twos." I do agree. This morning she got huffy and said to me (twice): "Don't talk to me that way!" when I was telling her to hurry so we could get out the door. I was fairly taken aback. She must have learned that at preschool, since that is a phrase that isn't heard in our house. We are learning where to draw the line (she must eat dinner at the table) and where to be more relaxed (she's been waking up at night and begging to sleep in our bed). No doubt about it--these preschool years are challenging.

Ed and I: Ed continues to work an insane schedule (preparing for classes until after midnight and then up at 5:30am), so I end up picking up most of the household duties because I can't ask him to stay up even later to fold laundry or whatever--I just wouldn't want that for him. He needs to do some serious career re-thinking for next year. Argh.

Me: I start my exercise class on Wednesday. It's so hard to take time for myself with so much going on in my life and my family's life. But I must. I must. It will help keep me sane and balanced amid all of this!

Overall, though, life is good. I always remember that. Always. I'm a glass-half full person and that has gotten me through some wacky times in my life.

 

 
   
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