Royal Blue

Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
A Week of Big Events

You know, most weeks in life are just the usual--work, sleep, eat, play with kids, talk with hubby, change some diapers, chat with coworkers, watch TV, read the paper, etc.

But then there are weeks like this past week. Big stuff.

Friday we closed on our old house. What really put the icing on the cake was how lovely this young (newlywed) couple are who bought our house. They are both in their 30's, I'd guess, and really nice and even thanked us for selling our house to them. Umm...I think it's me who should be kissing your feet for taking our old house...our financial drain...from us.

They even said they loved the moon/stars/sun mural my sister had painted in the baby nursery and planned to keep it because they want to have kids some day...'s just so sweet.

So, the house sale was over but then later that day we went to a visitation (which is also called a wake in some circles).
Thursday night we found out that Ed's sister-in-law's mother had died. Now, that may seem like a fairly remote connection to us, but Marie and Ed's SIL's family spent some holidays with us each year, going back to the first year Ed and I were dating. So, we've gotten to know them over the years. Marie was really a dynamo--funny, friendly, high-energy and I enjoyed her company a lot. She had been struggling with cancer over the past 4 years and it won last week. So incrediby sad--she was 64.

The visitation on Friday and the memorial service on Saturday were both lovely events--everyone was warm and gentle to each other and sharing favorite memories of Marie. Ed's SIL, Kim, told me that she just felt numb and hoped the numbness would get her through the weekend.

My heart goes out to Kim and Ed's brother, John. In the past 12 months, they've been through the closing of Kim's day spa because of lack of business, a marital separation and now Kim's mom dying. Yowsa. I wish I could offer or do something to make life easier for them, Kim especially. We haven't been that close to them recently, in part because of Ed's family being a lot less touchy-feely than my family.

Let's see, also this week: I cried in front of my boss. Yesterday morning I hit a wall--I was just overhwelmed with all of the projects that I've been expected to handle. We talked and she was very supportive and caring and then I cried a little. Yes, it's embarrassing.

Out of our discussion, came several important points:

1) the new person we are hiring will make my life much, much better
2) that this year is hard for both of us, as we are both on a learning curve, so we need to give ourselves a break
3) that Deb thinks I'm a "superwoman" for handling the past 6 mos. as well as I have, but of course I'm human and so getting stressed and overwhelmed is normal
4) that if I want a promotion down the line, I need to be prepared to work more than 40 hrs. a week, according to Deb, who works 7 days a week. (Note: She makes $100k.)

That last point really bothered me--I refuse to work more than 40 hrs on my salary and deprive my kids of my company any more than I have to. Forget it. When my kids are older, then I'll worry about promotions and such (and Deb herself made that point). At the same time, she is passing off some of my projects to others and she is sending me to California at the end of March for a conference that will get me involved with some scholarly, interesting projects.

Deb is really a supportive, great boss. Yesterday really was evidence of that. But she's also a bit of a workaholic and I refuse to get sucked into that lifestyle. Her kids are all grown and out of the house so she can choose how to spend her "free time."

I want to be an emotionally, physically and mentally balanced person for me and for my family. Even if it means I don't make as much money as I can right now. Some things--like Sean and Molly and keeping my marriage healthy--are more important.

We'll see how things play out.

Big stuff going on.

I hope next week is boring as hell.


  This page is powered by Blogger, the easy way to update your web site.  

Home  |  Archives  
< ? diary of a feminist ! >