It's just like your mom said: what's important is what's inside
I liked this article
in salon.com about one mother's ability to be a "zen Mama" and not worry about every little thing in her kid's life, but what struck me is that she focuses a lot on worrying about the external things (furniture, birthday parties, etc.).
C'mon--I admit to focusing some on the external things in my kids' lives sometimes, such as Molly's wavy, unruly hair that I am trying to tame so she doesn't look like she rolled out of bed every minute of the day, but she's 4 years old! I'm not going to fret about it too much or give her the message that she ought to fret about it.
However, what really concerns me is what's going on inside my kids. I fret about making sure that they are learning to love themselves, to use manners, to love life even if it doesn't involve Pottery Barn furniture. I am focused on what's going on inside of them without worrying myself to death.
So all this talk about mothers' obssessions with their kids and wanting to give them everything leaves me cold when the "giving" they are talking about revolves around vacations, bicycles and Gap Kids clothes.
I'm focusing on giving them the very best of myself and my spouse. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to let the extraneous, external stuff go.http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/04/21/zen_mama/index.html