Royal Blue

Thoughts of a writer, wife, mother, PhD, sister, crafty chick, program coordinator, homeowner, culture vulture, bibliophile, and blogger.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
It's Supposed to Be About Love, Right?

Valentine's Day did not quite turn out how I had expected. Monday night I was scrambling and putting together the last of the kids' Valentines for their school mates and their teacher gifts.

On Tuesday, Molly woke up sick and Ed ended up staying home with her, so no "surprise" visits to my office with flowers in hand. No trip to Denny's for dinner with the kids. I'm thankful that Ed and I had taken last Saturday night to go out to celebrate together alone. We needed it.

Sean cried yesterday when I dropped him off at preschool at noon. But he was really just tired, as it turns out, and had a great afternoon at the Valentine Party.

When I got home at 6:30pm last night--there was no beautifully wrapped gift and heartfelt card. I did end up cooking last night after working all day. There were dirty dishes from breakfast next to the sink when I got home. I didn't handle it too well. I felt like throwing away the small Valentine gifts I had gotten Ed and the card I made him. I was pretty pissed off.

We put the kids to bed. I watched "American Idol" and straightened up the family room. When it was quiet, we exchanged gifts. It was fine. It wasn't romantic and special, but it was really okay. I did get a good night's sleep, finally. Molly's coughing had kept me up Sun and Mon nights. I had felt ragged.

But there is more than enough love to go around at my house. That's really what is it all about, right? Sean has started adding " much" at the end of the sentence when he says "I wuv you, Mommy..." Molly loves to surprise me with drawings and craft projects she makes just for me and our cuddle time at the end of each day during story time is one of my favorite parts of every day.

And Ed. What can I say? He stayed home with a sick child and tried to grade papers, too. He gave me a pair of earrings (yes, I'm exchanging them) last night and a watch when I just asked for a watch ("don't spend to much money," I said). He likes to still surprise me.

I live in a house full of love. That's what it is all about. Not about dirty dishes or chocolate that I'll regret the next morning. Right? Right.

Monday, February 13, 2006
Turning 40--one month later

So, it's been a month. Already some things have changed and I like it that way.

But there are so many little tweaks and changes I want to make in my life--I need to be patient.

I sent an email to the local city newspaper about becoming a freelancer for them so I can get a regular writing gig. They accepted me, which was great, but the pay is not so wonderful. But we'll see. I will get started on that and see where it leads.

I started a Nia class on Sundays and I really like it. My biggest challenge is enjoying it and not getting into my head and thinking about other stuff while I should be focused on movement, enjoying the moment. A good community of women to be part of.

I started looking for another job; sort of casual about that. However, I had a phone interview at one place, which was a surprise. It's not a good fit for me (and they said I was even overqualified), but it was nice to be noticed outside of academia.

I took Ed on a Valentine's Day date on Saturday night. Very fun. We need to do that monthly. It's just so darned expensive. Good sushi. Good movie. Sweetheart of a hubby.

And, finally, the season I dread the most in Michigan has been surprinsingly bearable this year. I'm really enjoying the kids a lot more, which sounds funny to write. But my kids are at the age where I can talk to them, play with them, do projects with them, etc.

It's so much more fun than having an infant and toddler where my main job is to keep them pccupied and out of trouble. Oh, the infant/toddler stage has its advantages, for sure, and they are always so adorable at any age, but I'm really enjoying watching them grow into people and just being with them. Really *with* them and paying attention to the moment.

I feel blessed. Despite the money worries, the dirty carpet in my house, the clutter on my desk, the extra weight on my thighs, I am so blessed.

That's how I feel this month: blessed and working hard already toward my goals I set last month. Go me!!


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